since I last posted on here.
I miss you. I really do.
I miss our friendship.
I miss talking to you.
I miss having you by my side.
We’re suppose to be partners in crime.
Remember?
What happened to that?
I want my best friend back. I know you probably don’t want/need me as a best friend but I really need you, more than you will ever know. I feel lost without you and I feel like nothing is going right without you by my side. I don’t even know what is going on with you anymore. I just don’t. I couldn’t even tell you what classes you are taking or even how you are doing. It’s not suppose to be this way. Not at all.
I can’t handle us this way.
It’s just not right. It’s just not.
I don’t know what I did to drive you away from me but I’m sorry for what I did.
Please, come back and be my best friend again.
I really need you.
Last night made me realize why I need to keep fighting and being strong. Thank you. I needed that.
I miss the way we use to talk, kinda like what we did last night. It was wonderful. : )
Thank you for being there for me during this time, I appreciate it more than you know. : )
With lots of /hug,
R.
P.S.- I see you in a month!!!!!!
This is day 2 of us not fighting! Oh man! I’m so hopeful and excited for this new journey. I can’t wait. I can’t wait for our adventures and to spend time with one another. I’m very very excited!!
Today is your 20th birthday. I wish I could be there for you on this special day. I hope it’s everything you want and more.
I do love you, Theo.
I just got your voicemail after I sent you those horrible messages. I can’t even begin to apologize or even make up for what I said to you and how I treated you. I will never forgive myself for what I’ve said to you.
I understand if you’ll never forgive me or want to talk to me. I understand if you want to forget I ever existed. I’ll understand completely if you choose to yell or cuss or say everything that has come to your mind the past few weeks.
I am so sorry. I want to get better and I need to get better for you and for me. I will get better, just give me some time to get some help and I will get better.
I’m so sorry. Please, don’t leave just me yet. I’m beyond sorry.
Please.
You will turn 20.
In 11 days…
This will be the 3rd birthday in a row that I’ve missed.
How is it that we’re so close yet we’ve never spent a birthday or holiday together?
I’m sincerely hoping that is going to change this year. Although, I can’t be there for your birthday, maybe something will happen and I can be there or you can be here for mine. I don’t know though.
You pinky promised me that we will have an adventure soon. I’m sincerely hoping that it’ll be an awesome adventure. I’m really looking forward to it.
I hope things get better for us soon. It needs to get better.
